Just one of the dogs

So, by now if you have heard about or seen on the interwebs, Yahoo apparently thinks they are funny.  Quite frankly, if this e-mail comes to be true, they quite literally are the dumbest Web 2.5 company I’ve seen in a while… and yet I’m talking about them.

Well, consider this an open letter to the Yahoo employees.

Dear Yahoos,

It has recently come to my attention that in an apparent gaffe of your CIO writing a letter to you to ditch Outlook (from either your Windows based or Mac based computer… but lets be honest, Yahoo doesn’t use Apple products right?) is somewhat misguided.  In a lame attempt to inject hipster dialogue of Montey Python like quotes while invoking popular pop-culture references to apparently today’s organice dog food, you are basically being viewed as children.  Apparently too stupid, too dumb to figure out how to be productive or rather how to find how you best operate within a corporate structure (which I use loosly for Yahoo).
I’m calling this PR stunt out as it is;  nothing more than a glimpse into the minds of what the board of trustees views as the today’s leaders.  Yahoo whether you like it or not is a company that is not worth working for.  By certain guidelines of any technology based job there are always “best practices” and “guidelines” for doing business, but are you really going to just sit there and accept that the company that pays your mortgage is anything but a steaming pile of dog crap?
I implore you to take your talents elsewhere.  Shop for a better can of dog food if you will.  If the idiots at your company treat you as beta testing, dog food eating, butt sniffing animals that you are… what’s next?  (I mean really…. worse? )
You deserve better and I know you can do better than Yahoo because clearly they think they’re running a dog pound.
PS.  Here is the entire memo quoted from the link in case it goes offline or becomes “unavailable” for whatever reason.

Hello Yahoos,

Earlier this year we asked you to move to Yahoo Mail for your corporate email account. 25% of you made the switch (thank you). But even if we used the most generous of grading curves (say, the one from organic chemistry), we have clearly failed in our goal to move our co-workers to Yahoo Mail.

It’s time for the remaining 75% to make the switch. Beyond the practical benefits of giving feedback to your colleagues on the Mail team, as a company it’s a matter of principle to use the products we make. (BTW, same for Search.)

For some reading this email, you are saying, “Jeff, shut up, you had me at hello.” *hug* Jump over to yo/dogfood, click “Corp Mail/Cal/ Messenger” and you are ready to join our brave new world at yo/corpmail or https://mail.yahoo-inc.com.

For others, you might now be running in your head to a well worn path of justified resistance, phoning up the ol’ gang, circling the hippocampian wagons of amygdalian resistance. Hold on a sec, pilgrim.

First, it doesn’t feel like we are asking you to abandon some glorious place of communications nirvana. At this point in your life, Outlook may be familiar, which we can often confuse with productive or well designed. Certainly, we can admire the application for its survival, an anachronism of the now defunct 90s PC era, a pre-web program written at a time when NT Server terrorized the data center landscape with the confidence of a T-Rex born to yuppie dinosaur parents who fully bought into the illusion of their son’s utter uniqueness because the big-mouthed, tiny-armed monster infant could mimic the gestures of The Itsy-Bitsy Pterodactyl. There was a similar outcry when we moved away from Outlook’s suite-mates in the Microsoft Office dreadnaught. But whether it’s familiarity, laziness or simple stubbornness dressed in a cloak of Ayn Randian Objectivism, the time has come to move on, commrade [sic…go deep in this pun, it is layered].

Using corp mail from the Y Mail web interface is remarkably feature rich. It supports booking conference rooms, folders, calendar, filters and global address book. Plus, you get built-in Messenger, smart conversation threading, powerful keyboard shortcuts, the new quick actions, attachment preview and our beautiful new rich themes. In the rare case you do need Outlook, like adding a delegate for your calendar, you can still fire up Outlook for 30 seconds.

But wait there’s more. By using corporate Mail, you’ll automatically get to dogfood our new features first. I’m especially excited about a new feature premiering in just a few more days: smart auto-suggest, powered by a platform from the still-have-that-new-acquisition-smell Xobni team. We have been testing this feature with select users in and out of the company and the response has been fantastic: “Whoa!”, “Amazing”, “Already in love with it. Woot!” and, my favorite, “So nicely integrated that it appears as if it’s always been there. I already can’t imagine it not being there again.”

Feeling that little tingle? Take a deep breath, you can do this. We want you on board, sailor!

Please note, on the mobile side, corp mail is not yet supported in our Mail app for Android or iOS, but that will change (PB&J!). And, like all dogfood offerings, there is a feedback link in the product. Use it generously so we can make the improvements to make Yahoo Mail the unquestioned inbox champion of the world. I pitty [sic] the fool who resists.

Thanks for your support. It really does matter and we appreciate it.

Jeff Bonforte, SVP Communications Products
Randy Roumillat, CIO

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